She's Got A Great Personality But...

I remember being single about 30 years ago and living in Kansas City. Al Gore hadn't invented the Internet yet, so you couldn't Tweet, Text, or even Login to Facebook. The closest thing to a social network was Nickel Draft Beer night in Westport.  On Wednesdays they let the girls go in for free drinks starting at 4PM.  Two hours later, they let the guys in and sold us 'Nickel Drafts'. Guys got braver, and girls got prettier.

I'd spend the two quarters burning a hole in my pocket within the first 30 minutes of getting in the door. I was a high roller in those days and spared no expense when it came to improving my vision. Obviously it was a popular hangout. I would say it was a lot like  "Cheers' except, nobody could remember anybody's name.

Alone Again, Naturally

My married friends were worried about me. Lucky for me I found ways to deal with my loneliness.  I buried my pain by dating two Kansas City Chiefs Cheerleaders, a model, a bar tender, a certified aerobics instructor and the Morning News Anchorwoman. On top of that I was playing guitar in a bar, hosted parties that had over 500 people at them, and lived on the Plaza in an apartment complex that Braniff Airlines had built for stewardesses with layovers. It was tough, but somebody had to do it.

Bang On My Drum

The 25 hours a week at my job were taking their toll as well. Most of the time I was up at the crack of noon. But there were days when I could barely drag my cooler to the lounge chairs by the pool. Since most of the other guys were 8 to 5ers, the task of rubbing suntan lotion on the female college students was left up to me...alone.   The pain I was experiencing must have been obvious to my married friends. They were always trying to 'hook me up'.  I didn't want to hurt their feelings, so I had to at least act interested.  At that time I had a deeply rooted superficial appreciation for the truly important feminine qualities, so "What's she look like?" was always pre answered with  "She has a great personality!".  Just hearing those words gave me the feeling I was headed for a "24 Hour Bug".

The Internet Is No Different

I don't think I've gone a day since 1994 without being connected and active.  I've read so many reports about "Your Online Persona" I could croak.  The facts are that you have to be who you are.  Especially if you expect to have an impact in a social network. Faking it might work for a while, but eventually it will be discovered. 

Even online people want real connections. 

Those connections are based on what your 'perceived' personality is. Anything that shows you to be disingenuous is a deal breaker. My personality is that of a person who likes to have a good time, and sometimes plays the role of a 'dimwit' at times. I offset that by providing what I think are insightful and intelligent suggestions and solutions.  It's exactly how I am in real life.  I'm the guy with the lamp shade on his head at the party.  I'm also the guy that doesn't drink, so if anybody needs to go for a beer or ice run... I'm available. It's how I am online and off.  

To Thine Ownself... 

Because of my personality and willingness to help, I get questions from a lot of people. It's a well known fact that I'll help if I can. That's part of my personality. I'm an open book, heart on my sleeve, what you see is what you get kind of guy.  I try my best to associate with people who are similar.  It makes for a less complicated existance.


 I'll never forget getting an email from a well known 'Sales Guru". He asked me what I would do to increase the sales at a car dealership. I sent an email back with a solution. The reply I got floored me. The Reader's Digest version of his response is "That's F*****G Awesome".

What Did You Just Say?

I'm not a prude, and I've used that term in my life. A lot. But there was simply no reason for it in this instance. In the two years of correspondence with this guy, we had never used that kind of language. It made me question what kind of person he really was. When I heard him present the very solution I gave him on Donny Deutsch with zero mention of me, it became clear to me what he was really about. So I very slowly eased myself out of his communication channels. Why? Because the personality he presents, is not really who he is.

Wrap It Up

The moral of this story is that if you are going to create an online personality, be sure it is either your EXACT personality...or one that you hope to grow into. If not, at some point you'll regret it.

And that is how communities that last are built... Let's do this thing!


Some Of My More Popular Post